question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
