he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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