So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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