i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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