Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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