So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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