wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
