these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
