Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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