She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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