i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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