u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
