My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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