xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
