I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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