.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
