Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
