I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
