can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
