I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize