I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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