From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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