Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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