After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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