Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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