He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
