dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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