forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
