im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
