his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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