The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My ass is underappreciated
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
