his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
