he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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