She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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