Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
