do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
