Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Enjoy the penises
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
