I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize