Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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