put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
