i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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