he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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