i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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