She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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