How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
