I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
