If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
