he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
