So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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