I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am puke
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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