two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
