just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
