But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
