I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
