That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
