You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
