there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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