I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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