I just pynch a tree in the face
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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