TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
