if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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