She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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