i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
