So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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