Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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