Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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