Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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