1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
