She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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