i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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