i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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