my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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