yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
