i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
