And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
