with your own penis?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
