im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
