he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
