I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
