just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
